Spring Was In the Air

The week before last was the first week of spring, but it almost felt like summer. Temps were in the 70's and 80's. The trees were budding, the grass was nice and green, and my tulips and daffodils were blooming. Nicky kept Scott company when he did his yard work, and he also played in his playpen outside on the deck while I put teak oil on our wood patio furniture. Scott mowed the grass for the first time this year, and I cut some of my tulips and put them in a vase to enjoy indoors. There were so many of them in my flower garden is year that even after picking this huge bouquet, there were still plenty left outside. Nicky and I went on many walks and trips to the park, we barbecued some of our meals on the grill, and the whole family was eagerly anticipating the start to the baseball season.

Nicky enjoying the outdoors

My tulip bouquet

Then, last week arrived and the temperatures plummeted. It went from 80 to 40 degrees and it was just too cold to take Nicky to the baseball park. He did wear his little Royals outfit at home, though, and as you can see, royal blue is his color! Scott went to a game and promptly got a head cold. And all those flowers I didn't pick suffered a hard freeze. Bummer. I just hope it eventually gets warm again soon and we don't skip straight from 50 degrees to 90 degrees or something. Anyway, we will be going to the ballpark a few times this summer as the weather permits. I can't wait! Its good that I have baseball to look forward to since college basketball and hockey both ended badly for me this year. Not only did KU lose in the Elite 8, but UND's hockey team lost in the Frozen Four for the second year in a row to Boston College. Glad we didn't waste our money on a trip to Saint Louis to see that!

Nicky in his Royals uniform

In other news, Nicky got his first haircut. I gave him just a little trim to even up his bangs. His older hairs on top were way longer and they made him look like he had a bad comb-over. The newer growth underneath was nice and even, so I just cut the hair on top to match it. And I must say, I didn't do a bad job!

Nicky's first haircut

The family also enjoyed a nice Easter yesterday. We had a bumpy start at church where it was so packed that we had to stand in the back because there were no more seats. Luckily, one of the ushers went and found us one folding chair which was helpful for when Nicky fell asleep. At home, Nicky got a baseball themed Easter basket. He really enjoyed sucking on the little stuffed bunny he received! He looked precious in his little Easter outfit. Check out his latest slide show on his blog for more pictures. Hope you all had a happy Easter as well! I really shouldn't complain about our temperatures here, I know; we could have snow like our family up in North Dakota.

Nicky with his Easter basket

Nicky in his Easter outfit

Also, Scott's birthday is on Friday, so I am trying to plan something for that depending on if I find a babysitter on time. Anybody up for that?!

A Month Gone By

Sorry for the long time between posts y'all. Just everyday life as usual around here. I've really been enjoying the warm weather lately. Its been in the 70's and the average temp this time of year is usually the 50's so I keep feeling like its May instead of the end of March. When it hasn't been raining or super humid, Nicky and I have enjoyed outside time and have made another few trips to the park by our house. The stroller ride over there usually puts him to sleep. Once we get there, there isn't too much for him to do since he is too young for the playground, but we do get some swinging in together. The park is nice and big and there is a nice walking path around its perimeter so I make sure and walk that each time so I can get in exercise at least. I am happy that I have lost all my baby weight now (I think I have breastfeeding to thank for that), but I would like lose another 5 pounds or so and more importantly, tone my muscles. I think sit-ups are probably in order to suck in the baby belly, but I am not excited to do those yet. Carrying around an 18 pound baby does help a bit:) Nicky seems to like being outside, but he is a little young for sunscreen (its technically for babies over 6 months old), and I guess I'm supposed to try to put him in light long-sleeved shirts and pants plus a hat anyway, but that seems like so many clothes for my warm-blooded baby. I do the hat and try to keep him in the shade most times since we aren't out for long periods of time.

The month was also filled with lots of sports watching. I am now close to sick of it. I love watching sports but since my Jayhawks lost last Saturday, I am just not excited anymore about college basketball. Also, I think I will give up on filling out brackets for the NCAA tournament after this. I hadn't done so until last year and this year, and I always steered Scott to good picks for his brackets. However, when I've done my own brackets, I've totally stunk it up. I am currently next to last in our group this year and was in a similar position last year. I think the problem is that I get too analytical about it and look at the rankings and try to put in a certain number of upsets instead of going with my gut like I used to. Now, I never picked blindly or randomly like some people who pick based on the teams colors or if they know someone who lives in that state. I, however, used to rely more on my instincts. Next year I will either give up the brackets or maybe have Scott feed me the match ups verbally so that I don't have the stupid rankings there in front of me to screw me up.

In other sports news, Scott & I were excited that our Alma Mater, UND, was once again in the NCAA hockey tournament. Since our stupid cable company was showing the game but not until 2 days later, we decided to watch the game at a local sports bar and grill that had the game on satellite. Last year, we were in San Francisco where I was attending a conference and were able to watch the game in the bar attached to our hotel. It was really fun because our bartender was from Boston and we were playing Boston College. Unfortunately, Boston won last year. Well, the game we saw on Sunday was a good one, and luckily, UND beat our rival, the Minnesota Gophers 3 to 2 in overtime. Nicky seemed to enjoy himself and took a few naps during the game. Anyway, UND is now in the Frozen Four which is taking place in Saint Louis. Its so close that Scott & I have been tempted to make a trip of it to attend and write it off as part of his upcoming birthday, but so far, we just can't justify the cost to ourselves. It would have been fun... But guess who we play again - Boston! Maybe we'll beat them this year.

And finally, I have to make just a few TV comments again. I will say only a few things about American Idol. First, for the love of God, would everyone please stop voting for Sanjaya so I don't have to hear his horrible singing anymore!!! I get it, he was "cool" hair. Its pretty silly that that is what is keeping him in the competition as it is painfully clear at this point that his singing skills are far below everyone else's. It kills me that the votes of a bunch of pre-teen girls are screwing up the competition again. Scott & I have already lost two of our favorite contestants so far - Stephanie and Chris Sligh. It seems like Chris might have a bit of an ego, though, so Scott & I weren't as fond of him as we were in the beginning. Still, neither he nor Stephanie deserved to go this early in the competition. Besides Sanjaya, I think Haley and Phil should have gone first just based on their performances thus far. Ok, enough AI.

Scott & I have also recently started watching the TV show Jericho. Its about a small town in Kansas after a bunch of nuclear bombs have taken out the government and most of the major cities in the US. Why is it that all the nuclear holocaust movies are centered in Kansas? It creeps me out - its way too close. The 70's movie The Day After was set in Lawrence, KS, our former home and only 45 miles away now plus in that movie, KC was where the bomb went off. In Jericho, Lawrence was one of the places that got bombed. I swear I am going to start having nuclear disaster dreams. Not good, I know. But the show is so compelling that I am very much stuck on it. It is really good. We've watched all the past episodes on the computer because we didn't start watching it at the beginning of this season when it started, but now we are all caught up so we can watch it on live TV. I highly recommend the show. Check it out.

Happy Spring everyone!

My American Idol Picks

I was going to write a post last week about how I was disappointed in American Idol this season but I just didn’t find the time. Scott & I just aren’t as excited about this season’s contestants. They are kind of boring. Don’t get me wrong, many of them are good singers, but I just don't think they are that unique and I can’t see myself buying any of their future albums. And last week the guys especially sucked it up with their performances.

The good news is that last night the men gave much better performances and my excitement is somewhat renewed. Scott & I, like many others, name Chris Sligh as our favorite, both personally and to win the whole thing. He is a funny dude - both in his look and in his sense of humor. He looks like a cross between Sideshow Bob from The Simpsons and Jack Osbourne. At his Idol audition, he said he wanted to win so he could make David Hasselhoff cry (referring to when the Hoff did indeed cry at last year's Idol finale). He also has a great voice. I also like Beatbox-er Blake Lewis and the soulful Sundance Head (nice name, huh?). Tonight I was also impressed with Chris Richardson who reminds me of Justin Timberlake. The guys were so much better last night than last week, although who told Sunjuya to wear that hat? And I also thought that Brandon's song choice was bor-ing. Maybe this thing is getting better and they just got off to a bad start.

As for the ladies, they sang better than the guys last week but they still bored me. Everyone thinks LaKisha Jones and her big voice will win it all – she is the odds on favorite in Vegas. In second is Melinda Doolittle who used to be a background singer. I have nothing against her but I do think she looks kind of like a troll doll, poor girl. I personally like 17 year old Jordan Sparks. Scott likes Troll as well as Stephanie Edwards and Gina Glocksen, who he calls Gilmore Girl because he thinks she looks like one of the Gilmore Girls (Lorelei, not Rory). The embarrassment for the women is one Antonella Barber who can’t sing that well but is very pretty. Her looks along with the compromising pictures of her that were posted on the internet last week will keep her around way too long, I worry. I don’t know, maybe the women will bring it tonight like the men did last night so AI can once again be my guilty pleasure instead of just a waste of my time.

Parental Instincts Backed Up by Science

Hello all. In past posts, I have described my style of parenting some including holding my child a lot and responding as promptly as possible to his cries. I mainly do this because it just feels right and natural. I am following my instincts.

I recently found an article from researchers at Harvard that supports these practices and explains some of the repercussions for taking a more detached parenting style that currently seems to be the norm here in the U.S. (although not in the past and not in the rest of the world). Its from 1998 so this is not new news, but I think it is just now getting to the general public. I still think that parents are entitled to make their own decisions and will, undoubtedly, have their own styles of parenting based on their own experiences, beliefs, and personalities as well as their children's temperaments, but I still think this information is useful to consider. While I think that trauma and fear in children who are held less often or let to cry-it-out are rare, I think that if people knew that they weren't spoiling their babies, and were in reality helping them form healthy foundations for their futures, parents would feel less guilty and would follow their parental instincts more. I also think that young people in this country need to be educated that parenting is not for the lazy. Its a lot of work and that's how it should be. In a future post, I'll post some information on how this whole "spoiling" theory came to be in this country (for the record, I do think that toddlers and older children can lack discipline and have behavior problems, but the ideas about spoiling go so much deeper than that). But for now, here is the Harvard article:

Children Need Touching and Attention, Harvard Researchers Say

By Alvin Powell

America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers. Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, and bring them to bed with them, where they'll feel safe, according to Michael L. Commons and Patrice M. Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry.

The pair examined childrearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds -- even separate rooms -- and not responding quickly to their cries may lead to incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders when these children reach adulthood. The early stress resulting from separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller.

"Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently, " Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're overly sensitive to future trauma." The Harvard researchers' work is unique because it takes a cross-disciplinary approach, examining brain function, emotional learning in infants, and cultural differences, according to Charles R. Figley, director of the Traumatology Institute at Florida State University and editor of The Journal of Traumatology.

"It is very unusual but extremely important to find this kind of interdisciplinary and multidisciplinary research report, " Figley said. "It accounts for cross-cultural differences in children's emotional response and their ability to cope with stress, including traumatic stress." Figley said Commons and Miller's work illuminates a route of further study and could have implications for everything from parents' efforts to intellectually stimulate infants to practices such as circumcision. Commons has been a lecturer and research associate at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry since 1987 and is a member of the Department's Program in Psychiatry and the Law. Miller has been a research associate at the School's Program in Psychiatry and the Law since 1994 and an assistant professor of psychology at Salem State College since 1993. She received master's and doctorate degrees in human development from the Graduate School of Education.

The pair say that American childrearing practices are influenced by fears that children will grow up dependent. But they say that parents are on the wrong track: physical contact and reassurance will make children more secure and better able to form adult relationships when they finally head out on their own."We've stressed independence so much that it's having some very negative side effects, " Miller said. The two gained the spotlight in February when they presented their ideas at the American Association for the Advancement of Science's annual meeting in Philadelphia.

Commons and Miller, using data Miller had worked on that was compiled by Robert A. LeVine, Roy Edward Larsen Professor of Education and Human Development, contrasted American childrearing practices with those of other cultures, particularly the Gusii people of Kenya. Gusii mothers sleep with their babies and respond rapidly when the baby cries. "Gusii mothers watching videotapes of U.S. mothers were upset by how long it took these mothers to respond to infant crying, " Commons and Miller said in their paper on the subject.

The way we are brought up colors our entire society, Commons and Miller say. Americans in general don't like to be touched and pride themselves on independence to the point of isolation, even when undergoing a difficult or stressful time. Despite the conventional wisdom that babies should learn to be alone, Miller said she believes many parents "cheat, " keeping the baby in the room with them, at least initially. In addition, once the child can crawl around, she believes many find their way into their parents' room on their own. American parents shouldn't worry about this behavior or be afraid to baby their babies, Commons and Miller said. Parents should feel free to sleep with their infant children, to keep their toddlers nearby, perhaps on a mattress in the same room, and to comfort a baby when it cries."There are ways to grow up and be independent without putting babies through this trauma, " Commons said. "My advice is to keep the kids secure so they can grow up and take some risks."

Besides fears of dependence, the pair said other factors have helped form our childrearing practices, including fears that children would interfere with sex if they shared their parents' room and doctors' concerns that a baby would be injured by a parent rolling on it if the parent and baby shared the bed. Additionally, the nation's growing wealth has helped the trend toward separation by giving families the means to buy larger homes with separate rooms for children. The result, Commons and Miller said, is a nation that doesn't like caring for its own children, a violent nation marked by loose, nonphysical relationships. "I think there's a real resistance in this culture to caring for children, " Commons said. But "punishment and abandonment has never been a good way to get warm, caring, independent people."

http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html

A Kewpie, Not a Sullustan

For those of you reading my husband's blog, you know that he is comparing my child to Star Wars aliens, namely the Sullustan. Yes, my child has jowls, or more nicely put, chubby cheeks. But I think he looks more like a Kewpie doll than an alien - you know, those cute little old-fashioned dolls that have big rosy cheeks, big eyes, and little wings like angels. Our friend, Beth Allin, who visited from Chicago this weekend made the same comment so I know I am not full of it. For those of you who aren't familiar with Kewpies, Wikipedia defines them as "based on illustrations by Rose O'Neill that appeared in Ladies' Home Journal in 1909. The small dolls were extremely popular in the early 1900s. Their name, often shortened to "Kewpies", in fact is derived from "Cupid", the Roman god. The early dolls, especially signed or celluloid, are highly collectible and worth thousands of dollars." I also found out from Wikipedia that a "Kewpie Doll" is also a derogatory term for a short person. Who knew? Anyway, I could get Nicky down to his diaper and twist his hair up into a Kewpie point and take a picture for you, but that is just too embarrassing. Plus, I've tried it before and he looks more like Ed Grimley because he isn't almost bald like most Kewpies are. So, just check out the comparative pics below and use your imagination on the hair part!